The automated paper title generator you need in your life

It’s a difficult time of year–people are gearing up for finals, trying to cram in as much as they can before Thanksgiving break, and generally feeling miserable about the finally-encroaching cold season. But you’re about to thank me for showing you exactly what you need in your academic life right now (or rather, you’ll thank my best friend and this document’s creator, Catherine Scott). Behold an automated paper title generator, or “Instant Conference Topic Generator”–all you need is the day and month you were born, and the first letter of your first name. Easy enough! If you don’t feel like doing it yourself because the thought of having to flex your brain muscles any more than you already are is overwhelming, check out the list below. The Peer Eds all sat down together and made a list of our own next paper titles. Here they are–enjoy the academic mockery, but also prepare yourself because these are actually really good.

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  1. Rania: “The Real McCoy”: White Supremacy through the Lens of the Star Wars Prequels
  2. Amanda: “The Love that Dare not Speak its Name”: Eurocentrism through the Lens of Beyoncé’s “Lemonade”
  3. Kate: “Show Me the Money!”: Criminalization through the Lens of the Ashlee/Jessica Simpson Paradox
  4. Danielle: “Your Place or Mine?”: Marxism through the Lens of Cher’s Twitter
  5. Chantal: “Houston, We Have a Problem”: Capitalism through the Lens of Albus Dumbledore’s Closeted Homosexuality
  6. Simi: “The Whole Shebang”: Masculinity through the Lens of Rory Gilmore’s Controversial Love Life
  7. Cara: “Queer as a Three Dollar Bill”: the Patriarchy through the Lens of Albus Dumbledore’s Homosexuality
  8. Analisa: “Diamond in the Rough”: Criminalization through the Lens of Beyoncé’s “Lemonade”
  9. Allison: “Houston, We Have a Problem”: Globalization through the Lens of Beyoncé’s Lemonade
  10. Jaipreet: “Pick Your Poison”: Eurocentrism through the Lens of the “For Women” Category on PornHub
  11. Helen: “Queer as a Three Dollar Bill”: Capitalism through the Lens of Helga Pataky’s Difficult Life
  12. Sammy: “This Town’s Not Big Enough for the Two of Us”: Criminalization through the Lens of Rory Gilmore’s Controversial Love Life
  13. Rumana: “Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers”: The Space Time Compression through the Lens of the Star Wars Prequels

Now go write  your own!

Hymen Mysteries SOLVED

Fun fact: virginity is entirely socially constructed, and there is no physical characteristic that can determine whether or not a female-bodied person has had sex yet, just like nobody can tell if a male-bodied person has!

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BUT. You ask, perplexed: what about the hymen??

Confused? Curious? Want to watch a funny video with pep rally analogies? Keep reading.

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