Choosing the “Right” Partner

I’ve been a part of some discussion lately about finding “Mr. Right” and want to share. As a warning: I use pretty heterosexist language in this post. I’m sorry. The discussion’s I’ve had have primarily been with self-identified heterosexual women and I’m not going to speculate and generalize about the varieties of discussions that surround this issue in the multitude of different identities (and lack-there-of). If you’d like to expand my conversation, please, by all means, do!

Who is “Mr. Right”? What does he look like? sound like? eat? Where does he live? Does he pee standing up? look like good daddy material? have siblings? What’s his family like? Is he a good lover? Will we still be having sex after 2 months? The things we concoct when dreaming up the right person are outstanding! (To me, at least). We all dream. There’s no doubt to that. But there are few things I can think of that we dream up so distinctly than who we want to partner with “for forever and ever and….” Our careers are probably the only other life happening that we create in a perfect little bubble– that is quickly and knowingly going to pop the moment we enter the real working world. Our career choices and ambitions are not what I’m discussing here, though. Continue Reading


“Point,” Counter-Point

Thought the feminist backlash was over? Think again.

City Journal recently published an article entitled What Campus Rape Crisis? (found here:,0,1096037,full.story) and an op-ed rebuttal from a student who works with Students Active for Ending Rape (found here:,0,6130673.story).

The former article sounds remarkably like Katie Roiphe’s 1994 The Morning After: Sex, Fear, and Feminism and is filled with claims that the oft-cited statistic that 1 in 4 college-aged women will experience sexual assault or attempted sexual assault before they graduate was garnered after second-wavers were displeased with their first, lower statistic about rape and tried again with fallacious questionnaires intended to confuse students into saying the had experienced unwelcome intercourse (the author doesn’t make it clear why they would want to do this, of course). Another ‘fact’ used to show the supposed sham is that college rape crisis centers don’t receive many calls – but it is precisely articles like this (and, albeit, a hand-full of other societal messages) that make women ashamed and embarrassed and hesitant to ever tell anyone for the fear that they won’t be believed or will be ridiculed or will be blamed for ‘asking for it.’

I am all for reasoned debate – and I hate dogmatic, politically convenient views more than anyone. But to dress up prejudice and misogyny and call it reason is something I just won’t stand for.

Yoga at Well-Woman Every Sunday Night!

Join Well-Woman Sundays this semester from 7:15-8:00pm in the Well-Woman office (119 Reid) to de-stress with 45 minute sessions of restorative and invigorating yoga, where you will explore and develop the strength and beauty of your mind, body, and spirit.

All Barnard students are welcome and no experience is necessary. Feel free to come once, once in a while, or every week!