Want to learn about the three kinds of happy lives and how to bring more positivity and happiness into your life? Check out this interesting and informative TED Talk by Martin Seligman.
Want to know the basics about the birth control pill? Buzzfeed just did a video chatting with some contraceptive experts to discuss what birth control is, myths, and how to reduce the taboo around talking about it! Note that this video is pretty heteronormative and focuses on penile/vaginal intercourse. Take five minutes of your day to check it out!
I student-teach first grade and one of the biggest things we tried to drive home to the kids the first week of school is that they should try to be friends with everyone in the school. When you see someone sitting alone at recess, you should invite them to play. Of course this led one little boy to ask “But what if it’s a girl?”
Here at Barnard we don’t have any teachers to help us make friends. Yet somehow there is this pervasive idea that during your first week of college you are supposed to meet your best friend forever that will become your future suit mate and eventual god-parent to the children you didn’t even know you were planning on having. This idea often leads to friendships based on artificial commonalties. During NSOP I was briefly friends with a girl whose sole commonality with me was that we both came from states where it was illegal to pump your own gas (Shout out to NJ and Oregon!). While some people may be lucky enough to make their friends that quickly for many other people it could take weeks, months, even a few semesters before they find their friends. Eventually though you WILL find friends who share your interests, your values, your guilty pleasures, and eventually some future life experiences. Below a few peer-eds share how they met some of their closest college friends.
“I met all of my best friends at an academic summer camp that we all went to from 6/7th grade up to 12th grade. So we’ve literally known each other since we were 11 and 12. I met two of them in class and one of them while playing flag football.” -Kyara
“I didn’t really get settled in my friend group until my sophomore year. I’d met one of them in our FemSex section the spring of our first year, and we liked each other so much that we started cooking brunch in the Barnard Quad kitchens every Sunday morning before FemSex (and then would often debrief after FemSex). During our sophomore year, she introduced me to my other two best friends, one of whom had been in my First-Year English class and one of whom I’d never encountered. It all just fell together slowly, without our realizing it was happening, but by the end of sophomore year, we were a group — and now we live in the same suite.”- Caroline
“I met a few of my closest friends on my freshman hall (although we didn’t bond til second semester), and some others through well woman (not even peer eds, just sitting in the office and hanging out!). Maybe I’m not particularly outgoing… That’s mostly how it happened!”- Lily
“I met my best friend on the Dems campaign trip! Lots of bonding time” – Michaela
“I met mine in Reacting to the Past and it turned out she lived on my floor. It led to many nights in character as French citizens during the Revolution.” – Rachel Katz
As you can tell, very few people met their best friends the first week of school. People made friends in classes, in clubs, and even by just seeing someone in the same place. Go to places that you like to be- that’s where you will find people like you. How did you meet your friends in college? Comment below!
Come to an event we are doing with the FYF RAs tonight called “Build Your Cunt-fidence!” from 7-8:30 in Sulz Parlor (3rd Floor Barnard Hall). Get ready for snacks, prizes, and everything you want to know about vaginas whether you have one, were born from one, or are just a fan of them!
It’s September – the time of year when everything is in flux and there is inevitably so much going on. It’s exciting and stimulating but can also be seriously overwhelming. I often find that when I’m going through periods of busy change in my life, my internal dialogue changes from a usually even-keeled calm voice of pretty reasonable reason to a one sided conversation of SHOULD. Instead of doing what I want to be doing, I find myself fixating on what I should be doing. For example: while I might prefer to take a night in to myself to recharge, relax with roommates and cook myself a delicious dinner, I instead should myself into going out to a social engagement that I’m not that excited to be at. Instead of trusting my gut and only taking on four courses and one or two extracurricular commitments, I should myself into taking on a fifth class plus a dance class and a lab and a third, fourth, fifth out of school commitment. I may not want to be living the day-to-day realities of these choices but I tell myself that it’s what I should be doing.
I end up shoulding alllll over myself.
The truth is, it’s so easy to only do what you think you SHOULD be doing. Whether it’s what our peers, parents, partners, or professors are telling us, everyone has an opinion about what we should be doing and sometimes it feels easier to just do what others say we should do – it presents a path of less resistance. Although there may be occasional ease in following the currents of should, I challenge myself during this time of new beginnings and seasonal change to instead reorient to the want. I’m trying to ask myself what do I want to be doing rather than giving in to the chorus of what I should be doing. Sometimes this results in a rather confusing internal dialogue but that’s ok. Other times, I may not be able to just do what I want – I have to do what it is I should be doing and that is ok too. Just the exercise of acknowledging the difference between should and want is a simple change that has shifted my perspective greatly. Give it a try and let me know what you think!
I read this really interesting article the other day about the relationship between physical activity and menstruation. It does a really good job of explaining a lot of complicated science in a very digestible way. Just to preface the article, however, it is important to know that many people have irregular periods, and that does not necessarily mean that anything is wrong! As the article mentions, periods can change based on a lot of different factors. I think it’s good to be aware of when changes in patterns are not concerning and when they can become a problem.
Please leave any questions or comments you’d like to share!
Recently, pubic hair has been the talk of my suite. Brazilian? Bikini Wax? Just a trim here and there? Au naturale? On the surface these conversations may seem like a women’s college cliqué, but they’ve led to deeper thought and conversation about the nature of our grooming.
For me, life past puberty has included a lot of time and money spent removing hair. I got frequent brazilians for years. I put little thought into my first one; every girl past a certain age that I knew was striving to be completely bare, so why not let a professional take care of it? Once a month, I payed a woman $40 to $60 to rip the hair from the most sensitive part of my body without a second thought.
Eventually, I got too fed up and stopped going to the waxing salon. I proudly proclaimed, I was too feminist to wax. How could I, a proud Barnard woman, pay another person to act so violently to my body? And all to look like a prepubescent girl, fueling society’s obsession with the infantilization of women? Nope, not anymore.
However, this ra-ra feminist attitude I was harboring was challenged by a friend when she made me consider how I got to where I was. I stopped waxing as a rebellion to the idea that I should, so it became a proclamation of my feminist spirit.
My friend, on the other hand, gets Brazilians and loves them. She’s also a feminist. But she grew up in the epicenter of feminist hippy culture in America. Waxing to her is a choice, even a rebellion against the norm in her town. It is an act of self care, making her feel sexy and happy.
So if waxing/shaving hurts or feels like a chore for someone else, then stop (or don’t start in the first place)! If it’s a treat you give to yourself, then by all means, shave or wax away! Hairless or full bushed, feminists can unite for one idea: the hair you have down there should be your choice and only your choice.
How do you feel about your pubic hair?